不停的告诉自己说会没事
情绪却在朋友们回乡那瞬间失控了
带着笑容挥手告别 带着满不在乎的面具说再见
十秒后
一箩筐的眼泪都不停的展现自我
把心里一直以来埋没锁紧的脆弱 瞬间爆放
好酸 好空虚 好寂寞
本来就认识自己脆弱的一面
只是不想面对，更不想让人发现
往往就以口是心非 遮蔽自己的懦弱
用“我没事啦..没问题”让身边朋友都撤退
然而
时间一到 那份孤独始终掩饰不住
把门锁上后 就像个迷路小妹般
泪流满面
外表硬如钢铁，内心竟软得连白豆腐都向我挥白旗
衬衫再厚， 也受不起刺骨的寂寞寒风
柠檬五天 赶快过去吧
Tuesday, 30 November 2010
倒数 - 柠檬五天
Sunday, 28 November 2010
Right After Exams...
(for them of course, not me. I have another paper to clear in December)
the few of us decided to head to Karamunsing for Karaoke haha whee!
camwhore camwhore camwhore.
I realized though, that ever since I left the singing line I had problem dealing with my voice's consistency. Sometimes I'm fine, sometimes I sound so bad my friends even thought I was sick when I was perfectly healthy. =X
Nevertheless, we had quite a great time together :)
I realized though, that ever since I left the singing line I had problem dealing with my voice's consistency. Sometimes I'm fine, sometimes I sound so bad my friends even thought I was sick when I was perfectly healthy. =X
Nevertheless, we had quite a great time together :)
Proceeded to the Toastmasters' seafood treat at Kampung Air afterthat. How nice of them to invite us along for a free dinner although we are just their frequent guests and NOT their members.. Free free free! Free stuffs are the best! =D
Before heading back to hostel, yumcha-ed at the Huge Cafe in Damai.
Before heading back to hostel, yumcha-ed at the Huge Cafe in Damai.
Life after exam is such a bliss. More pictures coming up next :)
Tuesday, 23 November 2010
Just My Say..
In one of my closies' blog, she stated that taking STPM, screwing it and getting into local U is a total humiliation because local uni here in Malaysia is nowhere in comparison to the other institutions overseas and she ranted about how unfortunate certain people are for not being born in a wealthy family which can afford an expensive private education just like her other friends yada yada yada.
I used to think that way too.
But right now if you ask me, apart from the exposure people get abroad (which I can't help but to admire, really), what's the big deal? A cert is only a cert, a piece of paper which is overrated by students nowadays. It never is an accurate yardstick to measure a person's capability.
I am one of the few breathing in this world who truly believes that it's always the attitude not the aptitude that determines a person's altitude in life (exactly what I wrote in my school magazine few years back). Unless you have an enormous ambition of being the world's crème de la crème you have to get into Harvard or Cambridge to be one of the tops who have the say all the time and everywhere you go, a cert will only stand a very small part of your life by just securing you your first job. That's all.
Your path after that is solely based on your personal effort, your choice and your aspiration. You wanna go further, work harder; you're contented, stay put. You won't turn smart in that split second when you are offered a place in a renowned uni. You are still you no matter where you are.
A quote from a senior in one of the toastmaster events I attended recently sounded something like this "If you are born poor, it's not your fault; but if you die poor, it is your fault". I personally think it's very true =)
Just a say from a girl studying in Sabah. I'll prove you wrong to think that local graduates are incompetent. Watch me.
I used to think that way too.
But right now if you ask me, apart from the exposure people get abroad (which I can't help but to admire, really), what's the big deal? A cert is only a cert, a piece of paper which is overrated by students nowadays. It never is an accurate yardstick to measure a person's capability.
I am one of the few breathing in this world who truly believes that it's always the attitude not the aptitude that determines a person's altitude in life (exactly what I wrote in my school magazine few years back). Unless you have an enormous ambition of being the world's crème de la crème you have to get into Harvard or Cambridge to be one of the tops who have the say all the time and everywhere you go, a cert will only stand a very small part of your life by just securing you your first job. That's all.
Your path after that is solely based on your personal effort, your choice and your aspiration. You wanna go further, work harder; you're contented, stay put. You won't turn smart in that split second when you are offered a place in a renowned uni. You are still you no matter where you are.
A quote from a senior in one of the toastmaster events I attended recently sounded something like this "If you are born poor, it's not your fault; but if you die poor, it is your fault". I personally think it's very true =)
Just a say from a girl studying in Sabah. I'll prove you wrong to think that local graduates are incompetent. Watch me.
Monday, 22 November 2010
There's a Friend...
who thinks that I don't care, but I secretly do.
who thinks he's alone, but he's actually not.
who's lost, but I can't do anything.
who took a few wrong steps, but I'm nobody to comment.
a friend I wish he's less selfish, a friend I wish to be close with, a friend I wish to be able to talk to (like buddy buddy kinda talk), a friend I pretty much understand, a friend who sees me differently (not in love, but just a better friend), a friend I wish to lift his spirit now but I can't.
He once promised me he'll be by my side no matter what, but he never made it. No I'm not disappointed.. I just thought you were someone I'll be close with but it seems impossible right now.
Let's just hope you'll find your way back. Good luck.
who thinks he's alone, but he's actually not.
who's lost, but I can't do anything.
who took a few wrong steps, but I'm nobody to comment.
a friend I wish he's less selfish, a friend I wish to be close with, a friend I wish to be able to talk to (like buddy buddy kinda talk), a friend I pretty much understand, a friend who sees me differently (not in love, but just a better friend), a friend I wish to lift his spirit now but I can't.
He once promised me he'll be by my side no matter what, but he never made it. No I'm not disappointed.. I just thought you were someone I'll be close with but it seems impossible right now.
Let's just hope you'll find your way back. Good luck.
Wednesday, 17 November 2010
Break in the Midst of a Marathon
3 bags of load released, 3 more to be released.
a couple of days to breathe now before I turn myself into a complete nerd again :)
Right after Numerical's yesterday I went to Lintas for lunch, Suria Sabah for movie, Centre Point for shopping and Papar for dinner. You have no idea how far Papar is ok. It took us more than an hour to get there. haha. One fine day we'll just decide to catch a flight to have a dinner in Sarawak or Brunei. Watch us.
Woke up today with a couple of misscalls and messages on my phone's screen telling me to get ready in 45 minutes I'll be driven to Warisan Square for sushi :)
yup yup. It's Sushi King's RM2 promotion again for their loyal members (not me definitely) on Wednesdays. the chic in the picture above is my junior I'm sure if you're a loyal reader all these years you should have seen her picture in my blog loooong time ago tsk tsk.
Tea time was spent talking crap in Starbucks.
a couple of days to breathe now before I turn myself into a complete nerd again :)
Right after Numerical's yesterday I went to Lintas for lunch, Suria Sabah for movie, Centre Point for shopping and Papar for dinner. You have no idea how far Papar is ok. It took us more than an hour to get there. haha. One fine day we'll just decide to catch a flight to have a dinner in Sarawak or Brunei. Watch us.
Woke up today with a couple of misscalls and messages on my phone's screen telling me to get ready in 45 minutes I'll be driven to Warisan Square for sushi :)
yup yup. It's Sushi King's RM2 promotion again for their loyal members (not me definitely) on Wednesdays. the chic in the picture above is my junior I'm sure if you're a loyal reader all these years you should have seen her picture in my blog loooong time ago tsk tsk.
Tea time was spent talking crap in Starbucks.
Taking time off to hang out with some irregular people really isn't that much a bad idea. I guess ultimately I'm still me - the extrovert who prefers to mix around with different people.
Can't wait to get all the papers over and done with. Suddenly it struck my mind that Christmas is drawing near woohoo I have surprises for all you people back home so wait for my return *winks
Can't wait to get all the papers over and done with. Suddenly it struck my mind that Christmas is drawing near woohoo I have surprises for all you people back home so wait for my return *winks
Friday, 12 November 2010
Still Learning.
Wrote an entry which I personally adore very much but I can't show it on public. What a waste!
In conclusion, I believe that our mind is such a powerful tool totally capable of manipulating our emotions 180 degrees around when we face various situations.
Given a situation, two different people would give two opposite reactions and the reason behind always comes down to a word: perception. Then again, it is always easier to advice and to speak rationally, but acting rationally requires a great altitude of EQ, of which I think I fail most of the time. Haha!
Still Learning...
In conclusion, I believe that our mind is such a powerful tool totally capable of manipulating our emotions 180 degrees around when we face various situations.
Given a situation, two different people would give two opposite reactions and the reason behind always comes down to a word: perception. Then again, it is always easier to advice and to speak rationally, but acting rationally requires a great altitude of EQ, of which I think I fail most of the time. Haha!
Still Learning...
Wednesday, 10 November 2010
First Paper - Instrumentation - Sweat
Out of five questions I think I could only do one, or maybe two.
But it's alright, I did everything that I could – learned up early, attempted all tutorials and past year questions, revised, had sufficient rest and tried my best. At least it’s a failure with no regrets. Let the rest takes its way =)
Hot chocolate from a dear friend with a book so enlightening at hand – sheer bliss.
(my uni. nice or not! nice or not! airasia's having zero fare now. go get your tickets and I'll be your tour guide =P)
I guess there is no need to have a reason to feel heavenly just as we don't need a reason to feel blue. I wonder if it's just me or every other human have such emotional uncertainty too hehe!
Nights, blog.
But it's alright, I did everything that I could – learned up early, attempted all tutorials and past year questions, revised, had sufficient rest and tried my best. At least it’s a failure with no regrets. Let the rest takes its way =)
Hot chocolate from a dear friend with a book so enlightening at hand – sheer bliss.
(my uni. nice or not! nice or not! airasia's having zero fare now. go get your tickets and I'll be your tour guide =P)
I guess there is no need to have a reason to feel heavenly just as we don't need a reason to feel blue. I wonder if it's just me or every other human have such emotional uncertainty too hehe!
Nights, blog.
Thursday, 4 November 2010
Rant
Probably because I have always been an egoistic lady, sometimes I just loathe it when people respond to me in an overly arrogant tone. If an advice/comfort was what exactly I was looking for, hell yes you may disagree with what I was doing/whining/complaining about but conveying your message in just a slightly nicer way would make you a lot more likeable than who you already are, trust me.
I just feel so disgusted with opinions which are self-claimed-as-a-matter-of-fact by people who think they are the top consultants of the world or something when they are not. Urrgghh why did I even bother asking in the first place. I feel so annoyed today I need to just enter my dreamland right now and hope I'll be very much less grumpy when I get up tomorrow.
I just feel so disgusted with opinions which are self-claimed-as-a-matter-of-fact by people who think they are the top consultants of the world or something when they are not. Urrgghh why did I even bother asking in the first place. I feel so annoyed today I need to just enter my dreamland right now and hope I'll be very much less grumpy when I get up tomorrow.
Wednesday, 3 November 2010
Free Food =P
Hello world. Been a while since I last blogged. Nothing much recently, it's already our study week so finals are officially commencing next week and they're gonna last til dec the fifth, which is also my day of return to home sweet home =)
Total expenses last month was RM957 (minus off RM160 for medical fees would still make it a sad huge 800) I really really need to sit down, face the wall and think deeply about it sigh. Should learn to resist all the temptations that the sabah cuisine is gonna bring to me and keep reminding myself that I'll be home in just another 32 days so just… tahan.
Crappy craps aside, here are a few pictures of free food prepared/bought specially for me from my dearest friends on random days during random moments last week.
There's another one. but I was so hungry I gulped everything down too fast and forgot to snap a picture of it haha paise.
Very nice of them, very lucky of me =)
Nobody owes anybody anything in this world. Whatever given to me is just an added bonus. Thank you guys..
Total expenses last month was RM957 (minus off RM160 for medical fees would still make it a sad huge 800) I really really need to sit down, face the wall and think deeply about it sigh. Should learn to resist all the temptations that the sabah cuisine is gonna bring to me and keep reminding myself that I'll be home in just another 32 days so just… tahan.
Crappy craps aside, here are a few pictures of free food prepared/bought specially for me from my dearest friends on random days during random moments last week.
There's another one. but I was so hungry I gulped everything down too fast and forgot to snap a picture of it haha paise.
Very nice of them, very lucky of me =)
Nobody owes anybody anything in this world. Whatever given to me is just an added bonus. Thank you guys..
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)