The Eyes - Update

sorry people I know I haven't been hardworking enough to update about my status here and kept everybody hanging out of no where. Reason is simple: my vision turned weak recently. I can barely read or type nowadays. it's like... having two layers of translucent plastic being placed in front of your eyes and you're walking around with that vision. scary eh? but my doctor told me it's normal. So I'll leave everything til the next checkup - tomorrow!

had to postpone my exam even though I really really wanted to take it with the rest today. I felt so left out seeing my friends striving hard for the test and came out from the exam hall with big wide smiles sighh!

if you've been wondering how did I manage or cope with this mental challenge, I'd say it wasn't/isn't easy. it is the comments that you guys left in my previous entry WITH concerns from my uni/hometown friends everyday that kept me alive (despite being scattered all around the world right now, your text messages reached my cell safe and sound. cheers!). not that i'll kill myself with such vision and appearance or anything but you know, I brokedown once I cried so hard my eyes got so pain I regretted it. haha. and I feel mentally exhausted almost everyday.

but judging from its condition physically, I can tell it's progressively getting better. Hope to get more good news from the doctor tomorrow. Til I update again.

Once again, thank you everybody for your endless concern. an SMS or fb msg or a comment in my blog may not cost/mean much to you, but it definitely helped to make this fragile heart very much stronger. Once again, thank you =)

Just.. Two Questions

Do you still remember what did you tell me when I asked you a question in Tropicana Mall?

and what did you just do to me today?

For those of you who do NOT understand

How am I to not feel depressed when two weeks ago I looked like this:



And right now, I look like THIS:



Two papers coming up next week and my eyes are freaking teary after every 30 seconds of reading the words in my text.

Seriously. FUCK. MY. LIFE.

Thank you..

You know, when one is down with a certain illness or infection (in my case) and a large sum of money is spent on medication, one tend to lose all the force to talk, the will to meet people, the appetite to eat, the strength to carry out any routine or even to smile. I just felt completely discouraged, disheartened and depressed.

Then again from time to time, I received endless SMS-es from my friends asking me about my condition, offering to help if I need any, telling me not to give up, sending me up and down from hostel to hospital etc. I just felt so…. Touched. Really!

After the Japanese class just now, I lied to my friends that I had already taken my dinner and that I really wanted to get back to my room as soon as possible to take my rest, when I was actually starving like hell. Seriously, I just lost the appetite. I can't find the strength to go all hoo-haa when I am down with such condition. I can't…

So then when I finally reached my room… This is what I saw on my table:


T.T

A piece of secret recipe cake as dinner, a glass of Chinese herbal drink for the benefit of eyes and a lovely piece of article. I didn't know whether the tears that flowed down my cheeks at that point of time were due to infection, or emotion.

Just when I thought I was going through this excruciating period alone with no family by my side (the thought of it made me cry last night ok! I have nothing to lie here in my own blog), I am glad I always have friends to remind me that I am not.

Thanks for all the concern and assistance, my friends.. Really appreciate it. I am now giving up the feeling of giving up on myself. I WILL recover, sooner than you expected. Just wait and see.

the Eyes

Really appreciate all concerns, apprehensions and worries from my friends who have witnessed my swollen and red pair of eyes.

Went to consult an opthalmologist today at the Sabah Medical Centre (my God! That medical centre is as luxurious as a 5 stars' hotel man!) My eyes. They are NOT fine swt.

I don't know what bilateral conjuncture is, but the doctor said I am a VERY lucky girl. Given my conditions, most of her patients' corneas are damaged and an eye operation is required. But my corneas are perfectly fine so all I need to do is to continuously apply eye lotions and occasionally go for checkups to ensure my two precious little eyes are in good shape.

Sigh! Thank God for that.

Private hospitals are never cheap, we all know that (heck! You think if there is a second eye specialist centre that I know of I wouldn't go? Not many choices here. It's Sabah I'm staying at).

When I came clear with the doctor that "I am actually a student here, and would appreciate it if you could reconsider about the consultation fees" she said "Oh our price rate is very reasonable, don't worry dear. It won't go up to the THOUSANDS every time you come here. Probably a few hundreds." I was like… dot dot dot. Few hundred is a lot, to me.

Anyway, no choice. Money can't be an issue right now; I'm almost ready to spend 5k on this pair of eyes already siggghh!




Nothing much I am asking for right now. I just hope that they are going to be fine AS SOON AS POSSIBLE it's causing me hell lots of irritation and exhaustion these few days, making me pretty much a depressed and easily agitated maiden sigh!

Mid Autumn Festival in Sabah

How time flies.

It's already the THIRD mid autumn festival I spent with my fellow coursemates here in Sabah.. once more next year, and all is going to turn into "memoirs of the chem eng undergrad students".. aiksss!




I guess everybody was pretty busy with the preparation of Instrumental test that was held today, so there wasn't really an "organizer" to this whole festival this year.


Nevertheless, everybody was really keen in spending time together on this special day.. We just didn't know how that's all. HAHA!

Mooncakes sponsored by mummy dearest who spent her lantern festival watching TV alone at home sigh!!

Took our dinner in the Hang Li Po restaurant near the town area.

dishes were... so-so. worth a try, but not really a MUST EAT in KK..

Proceeded to Yoyo cafe as the "second destination" for a quick chat and mooncake eating..

Mummy's daughter with her swollen eyes - don't they make me look as though I cried or something sigh. they've been blood red the entire day it kinda freaks me out actually. I'm so gonna consult an eye specialist tomorrow.

God bless me and my eyes..

Third stop was at Tanjung Likas.. Played a few rounds of simple games.

game master was also our chemical top student - Daisy. haha!

Nothing very special, but I guess what mattered most was that everybody had fun spending time together.

Happy Mid Autumn Festival =)

What makes me miss the people in KL

Thanks to mom, all the unnecessary food loads that were "banned" by yours truly two days ago still managed to lay their comfortable feet on my cupboard because she secretly stuffed them into my luggage while I was sleeping on the night before my departure and very well locked my luggage up the minute I woke up.

-.-


everytime I open my cupboard at the sight of mamee monster, mister potato, mooncakes, baked beans, milo, campbell, lexus, kit kat, mash potato, cup noodles and chipsmore, I can't help but to chuckle. Her intention's good, just unnecessary.

Trust me, this amount of food can last me for more than 3 months without the need of stepping out of my room.

Mom oh mom. LOL.


Also found this ugly yet funny picture in Jessy's blog which gave me a chuckle of delight.

I swear we didn't plan this ahead. that woman just have to include her blog's address in the picture -.- go ahead and visit hers. click on her advertisements too because when she earns, I get free food, right darlinggg? =)

Now. back to Sabah. zZzz.